EDITING
ORIGINAL:
It was a grey afternoon, I was in a cozy little café sitting next to my fiancé as we stared into our future together. On the distant horizon, right where sky and sea meet, dark clouds announced an approaching storm. It was threatening, ominous… I remember it like it was yesterday.
Meeting Thomas. Thomas and I had met in Toronto, Canada, where I had moved to as a dove-eyed twenty-three-year-old Mexican. I had saved enough money from my previous job and I was eager to improve my command of English at a school of language. The school was attended by students from all over the globe and I revelled in meeting so many amazing people from so many different places.
EDITED:
It was a grey afternoon, and I was sitting in a small, cosy café next to my fiancé as we gazed onto our future together. On the distant horizon, at the spot where sky and sea meet, dark clouds foretold of an approaching storm. It was threatening, ominous… I remember it like it was yesterday.
Thomas and I met in Toronto, Canada, where I had moved to as a wide-eyed, twenty-three-year-old Mexican. I was eager to improve my English. At the language school where I was enrolled, there were students from all over the world. I loved meeting so many amazing people from so many different places.
CONVERTING INTERVIEWS TO BOOK CHAPTERS
ORIGINAL:
X: One of the biggest things that I see, not only with companies but with people, is that our health system is unsustainable. You can’t keep adding or throwing money at the problem and think that money is going to solve the problem. It’s just amazing to me that when people come in and they tell me what they’re paying for health insurance, most of the time, it’s more expensive than their mortgage—for a family of four or five. They’re saying, “Hey, it’s $1,500,” or $1,600 or $2,000 a month. Then when you talk to employer groups, they’re saying they have double-digit increases. One employer group that we talked to—and I’m not even out in the field as much as Judi—was [Saxton] Group; it was 42%.
REWRITE:
One of the biggest issues, not only for companies, but also for individuals, is that our healthcare system is unsustainable. You can’t keep throwing money at the problem, thinking that that is the solution. When people reveal what they’re paying for health insurance for a family or four or five, most of the time, it is more expensive than their mortgage, between $1,500 to $2,000 per month. Then, employer groups say that they have double-digit increases every year. For one employer group, Saxton, it was 42%.
REWRITING OF WORK BY NON-NATIVE SPEAKERS
ORIGINAL:
The popularity of Ethereum is well-deserved and is based on its unique feature. So, what’s an idea, the unique feature of Ethereum that made it second popular cryptocurrency in the world? We already know that Bitcoin and Blockchain technology has relatively simple structure and purposes. There are multiple members with their wallets, ability of money transactions among them. The system itself is smart, decentralized but is created for processing of classic tasks – money keeping and saving, transactions, etc.
At the same time, it would be nice if people could create special programs codes for the system that could manage wallets, accept wires, decide whom and how many money to send, etc. But all this stuff has to been done with obligation – every member could know principles of how these programs work, similarly and transparent for every member and program code should be well protected and nobody could crack it.
REWRITTEN:
Ethereum’s popularity is well-deserved because it’s based on its unique features. As mentioned in previous articles, bitcoin and blockchain technology has relatively simple structures and purposes. It enables the network’s members to make transactions safely among themselves. However, despite that the system is smart and decentralized, it is designed to perform “classic” tasks like sending and receiving funds.
Of course, it would be very useful to have a system with expanded functionality, where special programs codes could manage wallets, accept wires, automatically send money, and so on. Staying true to the concept behind blockchain technology, all additional functions would have to be logged and transparent so that every network member can review them. Also, such program codes would have to be very well protected so that no one can crack them.
EDITING INTERVIEWS WITHOUT CHANGING THE VOICE
ORIGINAL:
Up until recently all of my remote work was freelance writing. Within the last few weeks, I’ve began to work full-time as a freelance social media manager and I still do freelance writing on the side. I very much chose to look for work that I could do remotely because that’s the lifestyle I enjoy.
With my freelance writing, I have a combination of larger and smaller projects. It’s all about finding clients who share a similar vision. My most common niches are personal development and business, but for interesting projects I’ve been known to write about a wide range of topics. I had to start slowly when I began my freelance writing career. While working a non-remote job, I created pieces for myself as a portfolio. Then I carefully built up clients until I felt comfortable having freelance writing be my only source of income.
EDITED:
Until recently, all of my remote work had been freelance writing. In the last few weeks, I began working full-time as a freelance social media manager but I still do freelance writing on the side. I look for work that I can do remotely because that’s the lifestyle that I enjoy.
In my freelance writing, I work on both larger and smaller projects. It’s all about finding clients who share a similar vision. My most common niches are personal development and business, but I’ve been known to write about a wide range of topics. I had to start slowly when I began my freelance writing career. I created a portfolio for myself while working at a non-remote job. Then I carefully added clients until I felt comfortable enough to rely on freelance writing as my only source of income.
EDITING
ORIGINAL:
I walk into a typical grocery store of any large network company, and the first thing that my gaze falls on is fancy bottles of alcohol! There are so many. Bypassing will not work, the section is right at the entrance. And I feel the same as an ordinary man feels: the desires to approach, examine, touch, taste. Everything is done to water our mouths at the sight of these elegant “barricades”, so our instincts would have worked faster than our minds. Color, shape, design, and competent placement on a shelf––all play on our emotions and instincts. Attention is paid to virtually all social categories. Nobody should feel deprived. Once I saw two sales agents fighting for the right to make their products stand at the buyer’s eye level, in the zone of the nearest action. Order, price tags and brand names arrangement precision, colors, music, scents, sales staff uniform––nothing is accidental in these shops! Everything is thought out to the last detail and is aimed to ensure that alcoholic poison got into the area of your interest.
EDITED:
When I walk into a large grocery store, the first thing I see is fancy bottles of alcohol. Such variety! Bypassing the aisle will not work, since its placed prominently at the entrance. I feel the same way any man would feel – the desire to approach, examine, touch, and taste. No effort is spared in making our mouths water at the sight of these elegant “barricades,” which ensure that our impulses work faster than our reason. Colour, shape, design, and expert shelf placement play on our impulses. All social groups are catered to; no one is left out; no one feels overlooked. Once I watched two sales agents fighting to place their products stand at the buyer’s eye level, in the zone of the nearest action. The order, the price tags, and the brand names are arranged with precision; colours, music, scents, and sales staff uniforms – nothing is accidental! Everything is carefully thought out to ensure that the alcoholic poison captures your attention.
ATALANTA CREATIVE 